Lifelong Love Lost

Lifelong Love Lost

Such hopes, such dreams, remember when we were going to have a cottage with roses round the door and children and cats and love and laughter and so much more? Do you remember or do you now prefer to forget?
Gliding on a river drops of water made me glitter and your strong body twisted and turned and the sight of you lifted me and it seemed I made you proud.
I was your girl. You were my boy and there was not a thought that we would never be us and all the precious moments were gathered together in a flower with petals that began slowly to break away.
Did you, like me gather the petals and save them? Did you say, "at least I once had this?" Did you save and press them or did you, as you seemed to do, throw them onto the compost heap of all your memories of me?
Which was it really? I have heard you regret some things you did, but in the street you do not turn your head. Perhaps we are both another now, but I would like you to know I still thank you for the good times and still think of them as fine times and have kept the box and the flower press you gave me with all of the memories safely kept inside.

The Sea

The Sea

It is time to see the sea again.

 I need to hear the rush, rush of waves on sand and stones and see the chop, chop of green foamy waves and dream with feet feeling the ebb of sand while standing in the foamy turn of the tide.

Ships like dots on the horizon burning in the haze scatter the sky and droplets in rock pools sparkle. 

Sea and weed leaving a necklace on the sand and the salt and smell of fish and the feel and shape of shiny shells. Singing birds and the breath of a breeze in my hair.

I remember it then I long for it now.

 Memories of past days melt into the present of my dreams and the call of the sea wakens in me.

AFRICA HAS SOMETHING

I asked my English friend,

"What about Africa?"

She said. poverty, HIV, it must be hard to live

there

She said we were guilty of stealing wealth

So that people were starving,

And that water and schools were needed.

And I tried to write a poem

Asking God for words to say

About things I know nothing of,

Coming as I do, from my comfortable

land of plenty.

God said;

You got it wrong!

Africa is very rich

They have more than your country has

Of the things that matter

England can learn from Africa

And I wondered

God, what do you mean?

In my minds eye

God grew a string of pearls

And vivid colors

And music

And the sound of a drum.

God said:

Africa beats to a different rhythym

God said:

Can't you hear?

Africa rises to praise Me

In the hearts of my people there

There is joy and dancing

They awake me with their singing

They bless me with their raising

Of hymns in the heat of the dawn

And they are willing to praise me

At the end of the evening.

Therefore I will bless them

With riches lost to the western mind.

And I asked my African friend

"Tell me about Africa"

She said;

warmth, food, good weather, wildlife,

culture, singing dancing,

Music, rhythm,

enjoying love, life relationships

family values

These things are not lost to us

In my mind's eye,

Africa grew bright.

And God seemed to add:

Pearls of great price!

They still have the gospel.

My Son is found on their streets

And in the villages

In the crowds in the churches

I see arms raised to praise me

Hearts that will honour me

A people who have not forgotten to love me

A people who know how to trust me

They are rich with what matters

There is salt in the African earth

Bringing it flavour.

And in time to come,

They will understand

The riches they Have

In ME.

”

I MATTER

Points that need to be made about diversity in the

church whether the congregation is black , white,

or any other colour.

If I was sky blue pink I would feel the same.

Please don’t think this doesn’t matter.

What I have to say here matters very much. It

needs to be said to the churches.

Please don’t assume this is for a church of any

colour, culture, denomination or social

background.

This is written for the Christian church at large.

We are all one big family if we are in Jesus but

sometimes some of us feel like we are orphans

rather than adopted sons. Let’s make the family the

family that is really different from the world. We

are all joint heirs of the Kingdom.

CHURCH

My colour matters. My race matters. My cultural

background matters.

I matter.

I have equal rights to salvation and my church

setting is as good as yours if the Holy Spirit is

present.

My service is as anointed as your service if the

Holy Spirit is present whether it is quiet or noisy.

How I teach or preach or how I get taught or

preached at may not be how you teach or preach or

get taught or preached at, but it is the power of

God in the message that is the important thing not

how loudly or quietly I deliver the message.

I have (hopefully,) put as much prayer and as

much preparation in as you have. My Pastor put as

much prayer and preparation in as yours did.

Anointing does not come in a proportion to how

loudly or quietly we deliver what we have been

given to deliver.

We do not get saved or changed according to how

loud or quiet the message is. The Word of God

does not return void.

Please do not assume I will not do what you do,

enjoy what you enjoy, or not want to be part of

your group in church.

Please make me welcome whoever I am and make

sure I am not left out of things because I am

younger/older/fatter/thinner/able/disabled/not your

race or culture/not your social status/don’t look

like you/have a different situation to you/dress

different to you. Like you,.

I want to be included in the family!

COUNTRY

My colour matters. My race matters. My cultural

background matters. I matter.

I love my country as much as you love your

country.

Please do not insult my country by running it

down in front of me. There are things wrong with

all countries and I feel like you do when I insult

your country and race when you insult my country

and my race. Don’t you know we are all sinners

saved by grace?

My language matters. It is as important as your

language.

When you speak in your language in front of me

and I am in my own country I will think you are

talking about me and hiding things from me.

It tells me I am less important than you are.

The polite way is to speak in the language that is

common to all when there is one common

language. If I come to your country and know your

language that is what I should use.

HOME

My home matters. How I live matters. My way of

doing things matters. I matter.

Where and how I live matters. Just because I don’t

have a house like your house please do not assume

I am not as good as you.

Jesus was born in a stable and probably lived in a

house made of mud and it was good enough for

him. God will never judge us on the size or type of

house we own.

FAMILY

My colour matters. My race matters. My cultural

background matters.

I matter.

My family matters. Please don’t make disparaging

comments about how people treat their family in

my culture because all cultures are different and

don’t you know that a family is itself a culture and

I may not behave like you are implying I behave?

My marriage matters.

My marriage is as good as your marriage whatever

country I got married in.

Please don’t tell me my marriage is not as good as

your marriage because of the customs of my

country. I am married to my husband/wife if I have

one, in the sight of God.

My children matter and God loves them as much

as yours and I am trying to do the right thing to

bring them up as Christians just as you are so

please don’t assume mine are less good than yours

because of what you do in your culture.

Children misbehave and behave in all cultures.

FEELINGS

My colour matters. My race matters. My cultural

background matters. I matter.

My feelings matter. How I express my feelings,

happy or sad is as important and as right as how

you express your feelings.

Your culture keeps them in and mine keeps them

out or my culture keeps them in and yours lets

them out. God knows the heart and will sort us all

out so don’t tell me my way is less Godly than

your way.

Don’t assume I am less spiritual than you are

because of how I express my feelings.

Anyway, we are all individuals and I might not be

the same as you think everyone else in my culture

is.

What happened to me affected me as it affected

me. I deal with it how my culture deals with it and

please don’t assume God will heal me by the same

process God healed you.

Some of us need to talk more and some less. Some

need lots of prayer and some a little. God treats us

as individuals. God will sort us both out.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCES

My colour matters. My race matters. My cultural

background matters. I matter.

I feel upset when I am not represented in the

church picture. It tells me how unimportant to God

you think I am.

When you present that picture with people who are

not like me and are all like you on the church

poster it tells me I am not welcome where you are.

When you show me a picture where there is one of

me and a lot of you it tells me I am the odd one

out. This is called tokenism and it is NOT

‘multicultural.’

How I look is important to me. I may have an

older face, less limbs than you have or what you

term a physical imperfection. God made me and

loves me how I am. Why should I be more hidden

than you are just because I am not like you?

ENJOYING LIFE

My colour matters. My race matters. My cultural

background matters. I matter.

My music and what music I like whatever my

colour is as important as your music whatever

colour you are. I would like my kind of music

played in church and not just your kind of music

even if I am the only person in church of my race

or colour. Why should all the worship in church be

your kind of worship?

How I dress, whatever my race or colour, is as

important as your kind of dress. My hair is as

important as your hair.

My make up is as important as your make up.

What I eat is as nice as what you eat and if I like it

seasoned well then I do and if I don’t I don’t and

please do not throw away what I cook because it is

not what the rest of the church would cook or eat,

and vice versa. My taste is as important as your

taste. Please remember my taste as well as yours at

church functions. I get hungry too! 

GOD DID NOT MAKE SLUDGE GREY

God did not make sludge grey people

He kept the paint pots separate

Not meaning any of us should have

Sludge grey thoughts

Or a messed up sludgy

kind of thinking

About the skin we’re in

And He never meant there to be

A sludge grey takeover

By any kind of color

He made it so that

If your feet hurt after a long day

Well. they just do

A woman on a bus

Knew this while she was standing up

And did what any sensible human would do

And in a moment

Changed the destiny of me and you

Never think that dreams are faulty

Speak out and make them a reality

And never do the sludge grey thing

Be proud of the color God made your skin

For black and brown and pink and white

have legs and ears and nose and eyes

And mouth and arms and other stuff

In wonderful colours’

Trademarked God

Now go tell someone

“I love the skin you’re in.”

IF MY PEOPLE

If my people, which are called by my name, shall

humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face,

and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear

from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will

heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

Let us ALL Pray who gather here and anywhere,

From the oldest to the youngest, and most learned

to the most simple,

From those who are spiritual, to those who

falteringly utter a few shaky words,

God did not say, “invent some great prayer

embroidery,” just, IF HIS people,

His people, rich and poor, His people, black or

white, His people in any colour, any part of any

Nation,

Not demanding any kind of cleverness, but just the

quiet humility of heart that knows our God as

King,

The simple acknowledgment that Jesus is all in all,

and the willingness to follow where the Holy

Spirit leads,

Would bow their knees to pray.

Even, if not fully understanding, or lacking in

comprehension, Even if just uttering the few

stilted words that will come from a tongue that

longs to bring forth more,

It is enough.

For Greater in us is He who moves the mountains,

Greater in us who have bowed the knee than any

human source or raging principality of hell,

Most powerful in us who agree to bow the knee

together, Most powerful who join in unity of spirit,

Most able to bring down strongholds is the

weakest saint who agrees to yield,

Let us this day, be yielded here, forgetting all our

self interested thoughts,

Let us this day, extending the hand of peace to

those we have hurt,

Let us this day, reach out a hand and join to all the

Nations,

Who today will bow the knee, Our confidence

restored because of Promises made long ago, Our

healing comes, through the Nations,

Where just two or three, Not where even great

prayer warriors, though we need and honour these,

Agree, and stand together, There He is who we

most desire to see.

There He is who we most desire to move, There

He is who always decreed that praying men and

women should save Nations,

Able at last to move and allow the conquering of

generations of iniquity, and turn back the advances

of evil,

There He is, Here, Here among US, NOW.

It can

never be the same,

If we agree this day to keep Him here who is

always true to His word.

The Lamb of God rising in power in the Nations,

defeating the strongholds with a mighty army of

warriors, drawn from the kitchen sink of Life,

Gathered from the farms and villages and towns

and Cities of the World,

Willing to Stand for who we must Stand.

Confident of Victory, and not fearing the advances

of the enemy,

People who are a part of History, People of prayer

filled identity,

Gathering. O ye Nations rise up and greet the

KING who is coming in Glory.

Today is the day of Salvation and restoration, and

power, If we can stand together and bow the knee.

Our time is here if we let it come, It has been left

to us to choose whether we will bow the knee, and

if we do choose,

We see God's Kingdom come.

My name will be great among the Nations day and

night. They'll bring me incense and pure offerings,

because my name will be GREAT among them,"

says the Lord Almighty

FISH OUT OF WATER

Today I feel like a fish out of water

Inside my own skin

I must be meant to be here,

In this moment and time and place

But I seem to have lost my way

In trying to be One Kingdom,

One heart, One soul.

In reaching out, I lost you.

I didn't choose the Father's crayons

But before the world began

He coloured me.

And I hoped we were the same.

If He chose my Mother's womb.

Why do I never feel at home?

I feel as a stranger in the land,

One heart, One soul.

Skin still skin in any tone. I wanted to reach you.

Believed we spoke the same words

Just in another tongue.

But today?

I feel like a fish out of water

And a stranger in my land.